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Oh, boy, people. Tom tweets yet again that we have another bottom 2 surprise. Who could it be? Well, we find out right away who it’s not:

First two safe couples:

Aiden and Edyta (She’s shocked. Where’s the faith, girl?)

Erin and Maks

Len goes through his laborious recap. In case you already forgot: Everyone was OK except for the ultra-crappy Kate and Buzz, Nicole broke the rules, and Evan rocked. The only interesting part: Len thinks he should’ve given Erin a 6 instead of a 7. So when does Bruno admit he shouldn’t have given Nicole a 9?

Top-scorers Evan and Anna get the encore, which is followed by Reba McEntire (Part 1) performing “I Want a Cowboy.” Maks, Val, Edyta and Snejana don their hottest cowboy and cowgirl get-ups for an even hotter country western number. (As Tom says, it’s nice to see three Russians and a Pole do country western.) Reba then unabashedly names Erin, Evan and Nicole as her favorites. “There are bitter people backstage right now,” Tom says.

Next safe couple:

Niecy and Louis

Derek, Chelsie and Mark (on guitar) follow with an acoustic paso doble. Derek had touted this as a very cool and different performance — and it is. But I’m always partial to strpped-down tunes. On top of that, the choregraphy was exciting, tight and dramatic. See, Kate? This is what a paso doble looks like. The only distracting thing about the number is the new patch of peach fuzz on Derek’s lip. Second week in a row! Did he fashion it with his shaven chess hair? Sorry, that’s gross.

Time for another Len Commandment: In addition to receiving two scores next week (one for technique and one for performance), couples must also do specific moves chosen by the judges. “Season 10 is turning into season tension,” he says. Get it? Har har.

Next safe couple:

Nicole and Derek

After Reba McEntire (Part 2) — featuring a stellar routine by Lacey and Dmitry — Melissa Rycroft returns for a piece on being a Dancing audience member. Seriously, why didn’t they just make her co-host? Among the revelations: There are 720 seats in the house, and Bruno likes to shake his junk in front of our faces when he is introduced to the stage. Family show, dude.

Next two safe couples:

Evan and Anna

Chad and Cheryl

Backstage, Brooke continues to conduct awkward interviews. Never thought I’d say this, but Sam was way more of a natural at this. Brooke has gotten slightly better, but I guess going the opposite route would’ve been impossible. However, someone needs tell to her to ask something else other than “How does it feel?” Except when it offers gems like this: Chad tells her that he’s happy to be safe, especially given his dance next week: the rumba. “It’s the dance of love, so why not make love on the dance floor?” he says. “Next week will be on pay-per-view, you should know now,” Tom quips.

Dancing with the Family

Fluffy package time! The cast gets really close, guys, like a family. Niecy is the mother who encourages her “thin, beautiful children to eat.” Aiden and Jake are close, if only because of the proximity of their trailers. Cue totally scripted scene of Aiden inviting Jake to the studio on the steps of their trailers. Kate and Erin are really tight and text during the week. Not surprising because Maks and Tony are BFFs.

Next safe couple:

Pamela and Damian

Bottom two couples:

Buzz and Ashly

Jake and Chelsie

Lame, Tom. How is this a “surprise”? Not that shocking that Jake is in there. Is it a surprise Buzz is in the bottom two because he’s, as he says, a patriot? Pandering for votes doesn’t always work.

That, of course, means Kate and Tony are safe! I think we’ll endure a few more weeks of her, unfortunately. She can outlast the “middle pack,” especially if the judges continue to hand out the same scores to multiple couples like they often do (three pairs earned a 21 this week). I will give her credit for one thing though: No scowl this time around…

Read the rest at HERE.