Aquarius: You can low key be like the BIGGEST HATER, in your friend group, no offense. If you keep being so antisocial then before you know it your closest friends are gonna be chardonnay and Netflix.
Pisces: The tears GOTTA stop. It’s time to stop being so soft and feeling so bad for yourself! I mean you’ve been the girl crying in the brothers and kilroys bathroom pretty much every weekend this year….
Aries: You can’t put a claim over EVERY single hot guy!! I know you want to be the first of your friends to make out with literally every hot guy you all meet, but I’m telling you now your friends are getting REAL annoyed. They’re sick of taking your sloppy seconds all the time
Taurus: You’re posessive AF over your boyfriend, girl. You deleting every single girl in his contacts…including his MOM was too much. That’s savageeeeee af and creeeeepy af. Trust me when I say he isn’t interested in his own mother or sisters…
Gemini: You’ve watched every single series in the entire netflix database. Reasons why you watched Sharknado 13 times this month is beyond me. It’s time you got out of your house and actually saw some daylight for once, or hell even moonlight, idc if you go to a bar or a strip club you just need to get out.
Cancer: You need to STOP secretly following your boyfriend!! When him and his friends leave to go play basketball that’s not some cover up so he can sneak away and go on some tinder date at the park…he’s literally just playing basketball….
Leo: It is time you remember your friends aren’t your glam squad or staff…..they’re getting angry AF having you treat them like they’re on your payroll….cause shockingly enough you’re not a celeb.
Virgo: Good news for you, no one is a bigger hater towards you than yourself, bad for you YOU’RE FREAKING SAVAGEEEE girl!!! Take a page from Demi Lovato and practice some self love girl, you’re a queeen!
Libra: I know you are super into sharing, but that doesn’t mean you should be doing it with your BOYFRIEND!! Stop pretending you don’t see your boyfriend flirting with other girls, or swiping on tinder!! Also, cmon you know him and your friend Sarah DEFINITELY hooked up that time you were out of town.
Scorpio: You’re like a damn detective girlfriend!! You are creeeeepy good at stalking people’s social media and finding out if their in a relationship, where they go to school, how old they are, their blood type, and when their last teeth cleaning was, but back to the first part, it’s creepy.
Sagittarius: I know you think you’re gonna change the world in like the next week just because you watched some ted talk that just TOTALLY inspired you, but sorry, you’re not. Facebook wasn’t built in a day sweetie
Capricorn: Being the mom of the friend group isn’t gonna get you a boyfriend, or even a boy to makeout with ANY time soon! You need to stop cooking and cleaning for all your guy friends, put on a short skirt, and show them you can be HOT AF GIRLFRIEND! SLAYYY THIS WEEKEND!