Florida Keys police arrested a drunken man from Rhode Island after he stole a forklift and crashed into a gate. The 44 year old said he was in the Keys helping friends move. While he was in town he lost his keys and needed a vehicle to drive. Instead of renting a car or borrowing his friends he decided to take a forklift. The guy’s blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit. He faces drunk-driving and grand theft charges.

A guy named Gregory crashed his car in Gainesville, Florida on Sunday and blocked a lane of traffic. When the cops got there, they gave him a breathalyzer test, and he blew a .233 and .237 which is almost three times the legal limit. When they told Gregory he failed the test, he admitted he was driving drunk because, quote, “I can’t argue with physics. Physics is physics.” Besides being a dumb ass for drinking and driving Gregory also didn’t realize the breathalyzer test is actually chemistry test. he was arrested for DUI and damaging property.

An Ohio couple staged a murder scene in their bathtub and sent photos to their friends. The man poured ketchup on his girlfriend and texted photos to his friends, saying he did it. Officers showed up to their home a short time later after receiving several calls from people who were “hysterical.” The couple admitted the whole thing was staged and said they thought it was funny. Both were charged with inducing panic.

Those are your dummies of the day on The Joe And Alex Show.


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