In world of so much online dating, Tinder hookups, and other non-face-to-face meet-ups, texting has become the go-to. Obviously, being face to face is ideal, but there are ways to use texting to your advantage when it comes to relationships (especially in the beginning phases).
Well, thanks to the awesome humans at Elite Daily I found this rather interesting column which explains everyyyything you need to know to use your texting skills to your advantage when dealing with your potential new bae.
Many of us are shy in person. We get nervous while getting to know someone face-to-face, and we’re sheepish when it comes to talking on the phone. There’s nothing worse than that awkward silence when you run out of something to say…
Nowadays, we text far more than we call–more than two-thirds of 18-29 years olds reported that they texted “a lot” yesterday and only 7% had used a landline phone.
With the ability to communicate through our fingertips, texting has become a valuable tool in the Gen-Y dating game.
You don’t just have one chance to blurt something out and get your point across; you have the opportunity to carefully craft your thoughts and feelings into prose.
While it’s not relationship kryptonite, texting is something you can use to your advantage to greatly enhance your chances of finding love as you get to know your potential soulmate.
There are plenty of ways to use texting to maximize your chances of finding love.
Texting gets your point across.
There are very few people who possess the naturally attuned social skills for spontaneous human interaction.
Dating makes it even tougher because not only are you attempting to engage, you’re into the person you’re talking to. If you’re not so great at thinking on your feet, texting will be your best friend.
It allows you to really think about your feelings and communicate exactly what you want to say. Where you may have tripped over your words previously, you now have the opportunity to keep things smooth and savvy.
Texting lets you properly express yourself without shooting yourself in the foot before even getting out of the proverbial gate.
Pro tip: Use texting to answer those questions you are too shy to ask. You can get the vital details you need without having to come right out and ask on the first date.
You can maintain an air of mystery.
Texting is discrete by nature, with an aloofness that can play in your favor. While it can be a frustrating game if you’re the subject of said aloofness, it’s possible to use texting to your advantage and leave a little to the imagination.
In the beginning of a relationship, the other person never knows exactly what to expect and that alone can be intriguing. You can heighten this feeling by playing with response times. If you’re deep in conversation, it’s not ideal to play too hard to get; instead respond within 15 to 30 min.
If you’re trying to keep him on his toes, take a few hours to respond. If he’s worth it, he’ll wait.
Pro tip: Don’t text your potential new SO all day at work because that might leave them questioning what you do all day. Sometimes it’s good to be a little unavailable.
Use pictures to your advantage.
Pictures let you show what you’re thinking more thoroughly than black and white text. Don’t be afraid to add a little imagery to your conversations. It brings a more multi-layered experience.
Use the emojis, GIFs and pictures of your choice to express your exact mood. But, be sure to proceed with caution. As quickly as they can amplify a message, they can also be misunderstood.
You have all the words, phrases, faces and photos at your disposal. Use them!
With texting, there’s less pressure than face-to-face communication, so you don’t have to stress about saying exactly the right thing at the right time.
Pro tip: Don’t use an emoji in every single text message. Nothing is worse than an overuse of the winky face.
Texting makes planning a date IRL much easier.
When you’re figuring out plans, it’s easier to use texting as your main source of communication.
When chatting on the phone, it can be difficult to coordinate and agree on something the two of you want to do or are available for. But, if you’re texting and your date suggests going somewhere that doesn’t suit you, it’s a lot less stressful to shoot down the idea and suggest something else.
Texting to figure out the details ensures the two of you are both doing something you enjoy, which means the chances of a successful date are much stronger. Everything is there in writing and much more clear and concise.
Be warned, if you’re eager to get something on the books, waiting for a response back can feel like torture. Try to be patient!
Pro tip: If you forget the details, you have a backlog to reference! Don’t worry about asking where you’re going again, just look back at your texts.
Texting means you’re accessible 24/7…
And so is the object of your texting affection. We all have our phones glued to us – 71% even sleep with our phones. It’s an extremely easy and convenient way to move along the relationship.
A quick text reminds the girl you’re pursuing that you’re thinking about her. Just because you’re busy, doesn’t mean you can’t send a quick kissing GIF. And, if you and your girlfriend (to be) are both busy or unable to see each other for a few days, texting allows you to stay up-to-date on what the other is doing.
Moving through your day or sitting at your desk, it takes very little extra effort to periodically pick up your phone and send a quick message. You can also keep chatting even if you can’t coordinate a call.
As long as you both know you have your phones strapped squarely to your hands, texting can breed a certain type of closeness. You can be in constant communication, always updating each other on your days and whereabouts.
With that being said, if you don’t receive a response, either you’re being ignored, your potential soulmate is busy or maybe isn’t a big texter. It’s good to figure that out too.
You may find yourself privy to vulnerabilities you didn’t know existed, but if you play to them correctly, you could catch yourself a SO.
Pro tip: Turn off the ‘read receipts’ on your phone. Even if you’re accessible around the clock, it doesn’t mean your pen pal should know it.
…But you can still call the shots.
Even though you’re technically always available, physical distance allows you to hold the cards.
Texting is often preferred because it gives you control over your social interactions.
You can maintain a measure of distance while simultaneously forming a sense of closeness. You get to be as open or as closed as you want to be. The scary, nerve-racking pressure of face-to-face communication is off the table and you can build on your budding relationship without the fear of public rejection.
If you play the texting game right, it can allow you to build a solid framework before letting someone in IRL.
Pro tip: Ask an open ended, engaging question to ensure the conversation continues.