THIS, right hurr, is why I’m obsessed with Buzzfeed.
Because of geniuses like this dude—Matt Stopera— who straight serves up the SASS in his column, aimed at everyone who is dissing the new Britney Spears “Women’s Health” cover, which many people say looks nothing like her.
HI HATERS. We have a problem that needs to be addressed.
It involves this magazine cover and flawless snapshots of a God damn legend in the HOTTEST SHAPE OF HER LIFE.
THE. HOTTEST. SHAPE. OF. HER. GOD. DAMN. LIFE.
You see, people are saying that Britney Spears looks “weird” in this photo shoot. That her nose isn’t “quite right.” That she was “overly photo-shopped.”
WELL, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I think your eyes are broken.
I spoke to like about 37 makeup artists who have told me that basically y’all are legit crazy because these pictures are SO CLEARLY the product of extreme contouring.
IT’S 2014, PEOPLE. WHY ARE WE STILL EXTREME CONTOUR SHAMING?!?!
Also, we have ACTUAL gif evidence that she looked absolutely incredible in the moving flesh.
E! News does NOT HAVE the time (I think) to photoshop a minute-long segment. That’s fucking preposterous.
She’s a mother of two, people. You think she would stand for the fuckery you are suggesting? I think not.
Why don’t we talk about the real issues? The things that matter, like her incredible body. She’s a mom, people! A God damn mom!
Be courteous to your most high Creator. You are literally here because she was gracious enough to spit you out of her holy vag.
Now, excuse me while I wiggle my hips and try to forget this NIGHTMARE.
ERMAHGERD…..that just GAVE ME LIFE.
All hail Britney and [I guess] the epic art of extreme contouring…
HAPPY HOLIDAYS HATER NATION!!!
BRIT-BRIT HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU!