THIS, right hurr, is why I’m obsessed with Buzzfeed.

Because of geniuses like this dude—Matt Stopera— who straight serves up the SASS  in his column, aimed at everyone who is dissing the new Britney Spears “Women’s Health” cover, which many people say looks nothing like her.

Enjoy!


HI HATERS. We have a problem that needs to be addressed.

It involves this magazine cover and flawless snapshots of a God damn legend in the HOTTEST SHAPE OF HER LIFE.

It involves this magazine cover and flawless snapshots of a God damn legend in the HOTTEST SHAPE OF HER LIFE.

THE. HOTTEST. SHAPE. OF. HER. GOD. DAMN. LIFE.

THE. HOTTEST. SHAPE. OF. HER. GOD. DAMN. LIFE.

You see, people are saying that Britney Spears looks “weird” in this photo shoot. That her nose isn’t “quite right.” That she was “overly photo-shopped.”

You see, people are saying that Britney Spears looks "weird" in this photo shoot. That her nose isn't "quite right." That she was "overly photoshopped."

WELL, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I think your eyes are broken.

I spoke to like about 37 makeup artists who have told me that basically y’all are legit crazy because these pictures are SO CLEARLY the product of extreme contouring.

I spoke to like about 37 makeup artists who have told me that basically y'all are legit crazy because these pictures are SO CLEARLY the product of extreme contouring.

IT’S 2014, PEOPLE. WHY ARE WE STILL EXTREME CONTOUR SHAMING?!?!

IT'S 2014, PEOPLE. WHY ARE WE STILL EXTREME CONTOUR SHAMING?!?!

Also, we have ACTUAL gif evidence that she looked absolutely incredible in the moving flesh.

Shut Up And Sit Down, Britney Spears Looks Incredible On Her "Women's Health" Cover

E! News does NOT HAVE the time (I think) to photoshop a minute-long segment. That’s fucking preposterous.

Shut Up And Sit Down, Britney Spears Looks Incredible On Her "Women's Health" Cover

She’s a mother of two, people. You think she would stand for the fuckery you are suggesting? I think not.

She's a mother of two, people. You think she would stand for the fuckery you are suggesting? I think not.

Why don’t we talk about the real issues? The things that matter, like her incredible body. She’s a mom, people! A God damn mom!

Why don't we talk about the real issues? The things that matter, like her incredible body. She's a mom, people! A God damn mom!

Be courteous to your most high Creator. You are literally here because she was gracious enough to spit you out of her holy vag.

Shut Up And Sit Down, Britney Spears Looks Incredible On Her "Women's Health" Cover

Now, excuse me while I wiggle my hips and try to forget this NIGHTMARE.

Shut Up And Sit Down, Britney Spears Looks Incredible On Her "Women's Health" Cover


 

ERMAHGERD…..that just GAVE ME LIFE.

All hail Britney and [I guess] the epic art of extreme contouring…

HAPPY HOLIDAYS HATER NATION!!!

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BRIT-BRIT HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU!

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XOXO :)

 

 

 

Credit: http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/shut-up-and-sit-down-britney-spears-looks-incredible-on-her#.vtb2j1ez9

 

 

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