We often talk about how and why MEN cheat, but lets be honest, cheating goes both ways. So, here are the 27 reasons why WOMEN cheat…
You let yourself go.
- Now that you’ve got the girl, you no longer feel the need to impress. You gain weight, you give up trying to control your bodily functions, you pee (or worse) with the door open. Think of Val Kilmer in Top Gun vs. Val Kilmer present day. Don’t let that happen.
You call your mom more than you call her.
- Women love a man who’s close to his family, but don’t want to get tangled up in your umbilical cord. If you have to call your mother and fill her in on what you ate and your thoughts on the ‘Suicide Squad’ lineup, don’t do it with your girlfriend in the room. She wants you to be a king, but not Oedipus.
You look at Charlotte Mckinney’s Instagram more than you look at her.
- There are tons of hot babes on Instagram (and pornography on the internet), but you should be paying attention to the woman on your arm rather than typing with one hand. Women want to feel both desired and needed by their man, and if you don’t give her the attention she deserves, chances are she will look to other outlets for comfort and appreciation. Maybe she’ll start posting photos to Instagram.
You don’t look like Ryan Goslin.
- You just don’t. And if Gosling comes calling there’s not much you can do. Still, chances are low that he’s going to leave Eva Mendes to chase your girl. If it happens, it happens. You can’t sweat it.
You’re always “too tired” to get it up.
- Sure, you are actually tired, but you can muster up the energy to get something going. Make an effort. And, no, if it’s under five minutes it doesn’t count.
You’re f*cking lazy.
- Complacency is the kryptonite of any relationship. Women want their man to be a self-starting go-getter, someone who is driven, motivated and ambitious. If the only reason you get off the couch is to find the remote, she’s gonna go find somebody else.
You’re fucking boring.
- Get a hobby, read a book, join a team, watch a movie other than Animal House, and try something new. Do it for yourself and your happiness will trickle down, a phrase we sort of regret using in this context.
You don’t f*cking listen.
- It’s not always about you.
- Sometimes, you simply have to wave the white flag and hear her out. No one likes a fight, and no one likes being wrong, but realistically, chances are you were wrong anyway, so take a breathe, let it go and be the man she needs you to be.
You don’t go down on her.
- What’s good for the goose is sometimes required by the gander.
You cheated on her.
You expect her to look like a Victoria’s Secret Angel.
- If you’re in a committed relationship, love your lady for who she is and what she looks like or she’ll find someone else who does. Here’s a way to put this in perspective: Have sex in front of a mirror and see who looks better. (Hint: Probably not you.)
You’re bad in bed.
- Single digit pumps does not a sexual encounter make. If you get the sense that you’re not pleasing your babe in bed, ask her what she likes and how she likes it. Let her guide you and your attentiveness will only turn her on.
You accuse her of infidelity.
- No one wants a jealous boyfriend and no one wants to be accused of a crime they didn’t commit. If you start lobbing accusations, be aware that she may prefer to be guilty than to be hurt.
You’re addicted to strip clubs.
- If you come home covered in glitter and smelling of vanilla lotion more than twice a month and don’t live in Miami beach, where that sort of thing is unavoidable, you need to make better decisions.
You won’t do anything unless your ‘bros’ are doing it too.
- Be your own dude. Balancing your friends and your SO is difficult work. Do it anyway.
You can’t dance.
- Look, no one expects you to be Magic Mike, but you should be able to get through a bar mitzvah without looking like a putz.
You’re a flirt.
- Women love a charismatic man, but not if an incessant need to be charismatic trumps his need to be a man.
You expect her to keep house.
- If Destiny’s Child taught our generation anything, it’s that women can be independent. She’s not going to be holding a cocktail and a hamburger when you get home. Get over it. And if she is, show some appreciation.
You’re not successful.
- It’s not about money. It’s about being able to set and achieve goals. She wants a future and she expects that, at minimum, you’ll be able to help her build it.
You never tell her how you feel.
- Women can tell when you’re upset, when you’re holding something in, when you’re stressed, and when you’re vulnerable. If you never express your feelings, she will never be able to fully trust your relationship. Lack of trust is a killer, probably the shortest distance between your bed and someone else’s hotel room.
- Ask any woman and she will tell you confidence is most sexy on a man. A confident man knows what he wants and takes it. Trust in yourself and take control of the situation at hand if you want to keep your girlfriend both interested and intrigued. Think Austin Powers. That bloke was ugly as shit yet managed to bag Elizabeth Hurley. Either life ain’t fair or he’s doing something right. We tend to think it was a little bit of both.
You have poor hygiene.
- Get a fucking haircut, trim down there, shower early and often and know that your morning breath is awful.
You’re not spontaneous.
- If you haven’t caught on yet, excitement is a key factor to keeping your partner interested. You have to maintain a level of spice and mix it up from time to time to prevent the relationship from going stale.
You don’t love her.
- It might sound odd, but women are often more attuned to your emotions than you are. If you don’t really care about her, she’ll be the first to know. Hopefully, she’ll say something, but actions speak louder than words.
You have no sense of humor.
- Laughter is universal and key to a relationship’s survival. If your girlfriend finds a man who makes her laugh more than you, she’s going to let her eyes wander south from his smile. Looks fade, but – trite as it sounds – laughter is forever. It’s biology.
She wants to.
- Sometimes, it’s just that simple. Consider it her doing you (as well as that other guy) a favor.