” I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone.”
“Never fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.”
“You’re No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.”
You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.
“I was once walking in an airport and a woman came up to me and said, ‘Be zany!’. That’d be like walking up to Baryshikov and going, ‘Plie! Just do a plie! Do it! Do a releve right now! Lift my wife!'”
“A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.”
“People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.”
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
Ah, yes, divorce… from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals.
“Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus.”