Well, now that the tragic news of Ryan Gosling impregnating his boo (who women everywhere now all despise just because) Eva Mendes has sunk in, we can begin reveling in this fact of life: that he is going to be the hottest DILF ever.
YES…DILF. As in the daddy version of MILF….and if you don’t know what “MILF” stands for you might as well close this page because odds are you’re 11 years old and need to be in your room listening to a One Direction CD anyway. Oooookay?
Sorry Channing Tatum, there’s a new DILF on the king DILF throne and here’s why:
Basic law of science: When a hot guy has a baby he metamorphoses into a DILF.
2. DILF-dom, by scientific law, dictates that in general, when a man has a child, he becomes hotter.
3. Therefore, because we live in a scientific age and believe in the due process of scientific “DILF-ing,” Ryan Gosling will become hotter.
4. I digress…
5. There are numerous things to look forward to as Ryan Gosling experiences his transition.
6. The cool thing about DILFs is wrinkles…
7. Yeah, I know. Wrinkles can be bad. But when we’re talking about DILFs they can be good. They can add a weathered effect.
8. The weathered effect could really work for Ryan.
9. DILFs are also a particularly hot species of male because they look more sensitive.
10. Now again, a more “sensitive” guy may not be desired, but in situations it could be positive.
11. What I mean by this is that Ryan seems like a guy that will cook and clean and do all of the work. That’s hot and OK with me. Good DILF. Good.
12. Yet another thing that is going to elevate Ryan to next-level DILFness is if he experiences a slight graying of his hair. If that happens. It’s over.
13. BUT the thing that will really take Ryan over the top, in terms of his DILFiness, is his dog. Everyone knows a DILF with a dog is the best kind of DILF.
14. We also have these pictures of Ryan and a child that show just how good he is with younger humans.
15. This is good because JESUS, HE IS HOT.
16. In conclusion, DILFs are hot as hell and Ryan is going to be the lord, king, leader, and president of them.
17. Also DILFs don’t have stupid haircuts like this one so we know Ryan will never do this again.
18. See you on the DILF-side, bb.