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dating-hangingDating is complicated enough without all the guessing.  I saw this today and totally wanted to share from our friends at thefrisky.com these are the differences between dating and just hanging out with someone.


The Characteristics Of A Date:

1. Someone asks someone out in advance. It doesn’t matter who does the asking, or how, but someone does it. And more than 30 minutes in advance. Let’s say at least 24-hours in advance just to be safe. There is an agreed up day and time for said date. Maybe there are no exact plans until the day of, but you know that on Thursday night after work you and Joe or you and Jane are going to spend time together. That’s a date.

2. You go somewhere. It doesn’t matter who plans it. If Joe comes up with a plan or if you do or if you and Jane collaborate, but you plan to do something together. This could be as simple as getting a cup of coffee, or it could be as elaborate as taking a flying trapeze lesson. I did that on a date once. Really fun!! IMO, a date must include a shared activity for it to be a date.

3. You are alone, just the two of you. Unless it’s a polyamorous type of situation, or you agreed upon it in advance, there should only be two people on the date. Not the two of you and his college buddies. Just you and him or you and her being alone together doing something at an agreed upon time. That’s a date!

What You Can Expect Of A Date:

Well, not much really, I’m sad to say. People can be weird. But I think it’s safe to expect that when going on a date both of you are there to see whether or not a romantic connection exists between you. That’s about all.

The Characteristics Of A Non-Date:

1. Hanging out happens spontaneously, or last minute. No one asked anyone. You had not planned to be together, but rather ended up together. You met at a club in Williamsburg. You ran into each other at a party. You got a late-night text asking, “Sup?” And now you are together.

2. There are more than two people. If he invited you and all your friends back to his place for some whiskey and mac n’ cheese, it’s most definitely a non-date. I once found myself on a date that turned into a non-date the minute he told me all of his friends were meeting us at the concert. I went home pretty soon after that.

3. You’ve don’t leave the person’s apartment or dorm room. If the plan for your date was to go over to one of your places and cook dinner and watch a movie, fine. But if you are invited over to someone’s place to hang out and don’t leave or do anything, that’s a non-date.

4. It’s presented as a professional exchange. If colleague/co-worker/friend asks you to get together to talk business, that’s a non-date. It could turn into a date if both people want it to turn into a date, but it’s not presumed. You are there to talk about business until notified otherwise.

What You Can Expect Of A Non-Date:

Nothing. Seriously. Nada. You should not assume that there is any romantic future awaiting you on your non-date. Could romance evolve? Sure. But really, don’t expect it. More likely scenarios to evolve from a non-date scenario: hookups, FWBs, friendships, work connections.

I am committed to making sure we’re not confusing dates and non-dates here. So, let me know if I missed anything.

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