1. Nobody Knows What They Actually Do.
….seriously. What’s your day job?
I put brands at the forefront of social media revolution.
Does that pay your rent?
I own a Mac Book buddy. I’m doing just fine.
Remember. They will always tell you that they own a Mac Book or any associated Apple product so you know they’re doing well. Apple is the douchebag emblem.
2. They Actually Think They’re Internet Celebrities.
If you’re talking to them, they’ll actually believe they’re important on the Internet.
They actually believe they’re a celebrity. Hilarious.
3. They Will Speak At Any Event.
Like ravenous wolves, they’ll circle any event and offer their speaking services.
These people need to share their expertise about Twitter and Facebook.
The expertise they garnered from the 3 years they’ve been using it.
4. They Recommend Their Friends Who Are, Coincidentally, Also Douchebags.
Douchebags always “shout out” their douchebag friends. They look forward to seeing them at some dopey conference where they can drink together after a hard day of doing nothing.
5. They Always Need To “Rate A Brand”.
To a social media douchebag, this is a call to action.
They will immediately dissect the campaign and rate it on a scale of 1 to 10. Then they will blog, tweet, Facebook update and flickr until any energy around the contest is completely vanquished and people begin to hate it].
Rating brands is the douchebag nectar. They must nourish themselves by rating everything, every day.
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